Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
