I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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