You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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