for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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