My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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