found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
