the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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