I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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