my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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