I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
