and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
