I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
The air taste purple.
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