My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
