you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
