she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
