You can't motorboat a personality
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
