I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
