i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize
