Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
