my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
