Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
