giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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