google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
