just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
