How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
