C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Operation Purity has been aborted
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
