the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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