She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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