There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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