dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I look better un-naked...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
