I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
