C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
