WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
