I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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