We got so high we made milksteak
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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