it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
