you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
