Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
