remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
