i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
