So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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