Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
