Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
