everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Randomize
