I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
