I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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