Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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