he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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