she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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