Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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