Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
